Let's GO DUKE!

Today was the first weekday with no responsibilities (since our semester is over!) It was a good weekend of relaxation and cleaning (something many of my classmates and I haven't had time to do recently. We had seven exams over a ten day period. CRAZY.... i know. But God is faithful and we made it through! Today we had a seminar for one of our classes. It's a two day seminar in total, and we talk about many issues that Physical Therapists face in regards to ethical dilemmas and professional issues. It was great to be in a low stress environment with the people that have become my second family. We did an interesting exercise this morning. We had the assignment to sit and think of 100 questions. These questions could be about anything... our profession, our life, our struggles, our joys, our fears. It was actually a really neat experience. We got into groups of five and discussed some of our top thoughts. One theme mentioned quite a few times in the big group were in regard to God and what happens at the end of our life. It was a good wakeup call to remind me that the world DOES think about spiritual things, even if they don't like to admit it. Ecclesiastes says that Eternity is written in the hearts of man. THAT IS TRUE, I believe it! Someone in my group talked about one of their statements, which was "Why am I not satisfied with my life". My heart jumped inside. That is a question that God has allowed me to realize the answer to. God SATISFIES my life. Yes, everything isn't always perfect, and struggles come and times of dissatisfaction occur, but I know that God works all things together for His glory, and that He knows what is best for fulfilling the longings of my heart. I am thankful to have had the reminder this morning that people ARE spiritual beings and DO have the longing to know if something more is out there. I'm excited to see what comes of the conversations with my new family in the coming semesters.

On a separate note, I got to go to my THIRD Duke Basketball game this evening. A lot of my friends were there, and we had a BLAST. Sometimes it still feels unreal that I am at DUKE UNIVERSITY. I am blessed. I can't wait to see what fun and challenging things come in 2008... here's to the end of the year...

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

So, I just got home from school (to put it into perspective I left for class at 8am and I've finished the day at 9pm!) and I had to write about my exciting time. I live in an apartment complex with four other amazing ladies who are my classmates. We take turns driving to and from school each week, which makes it a lot less stressful on the morning commutes, only having one week every so often. Anyways, we listened to Christmas music the WHOLE car ride home (which is about 10 minutes, but still!) We were dancing, laughing, conducting a thirty piece orchestra, and having the time of our lives. While I absolutely love Christmas music, and would listen to it twelve months out of the year if it was more socially acceptable, it was so much more exciting than just the music. For some reading this you might think I'm crazy, but tonight was a small affirmation for me that God is in control of even the smallest details in our lives. Back in June when my mom and I were looking for a place for me to live, I had narrowed it down to two places. I chose North Pointe for numerous reasons, but I can see now four REALLY great reasons that I was meant to be here. Having the four NPC girls to ride to and from school with really makes my days a whole lot brighter. I mean, it would be easy to have a rotten attitude after a 13 hour day, only to go home and put in a few more hours of school work, but I am SO BLESSED by my friends, that we can have an amazing car ride home that keeps my sprits high. God is in control of all things, and it's so fun to get small reminders of that in our daily lives! Off to my studies now.... with a smile :)

Joyous of Events

Well this weekend was quite an amazing one. My good friends got married and I had the priveledge of being a part of the bridal party. This was my first "in the wedding" experience, and I could not have asked for a better wedding to be part of. This wedding was especially fun because I was able to see the relationship unfold from the beginning. I can still remember my early talks with the groom as he shared with us his initial interest in his bride. It has been such a neat thing to experience their lives come together, and to finally see the Lord bless them in marriage this past weekend. It's hard to put into words the joy that I felt as I watched them take their vows. For girls, it seems that we "plan" our wedding day in our heads for a long, long time. Sure, some girls don't take it as far as others, who might have everything planned except for the groom waiting at the end, but I think we all secretly plan a little bit of how we would like our wedding to go. There was SO MUCH joy surrounding the entire day this past weekend that I know that God was a part of the celebration. My friends were dancing to their song (i'll be by edwin mccain) and I couldn't help but shed some tears. The bride and I had listened to that song several times in one of our favorite movies, and each and every time we would comment about how crazy it would be to hear that song at their wedding (even before we knew they eventually would get married). To see the smiles on their faces as they DID dance to that song at their wedding, I felt so encouraged by the Lord that He DOES know what is best for us and that He desires to answer the deepest longings of our heart. My friends have amazing hearts for people and for each other, and I am excited to have such good role models like that in my life! Overall, it was an amazing and joyous event! (what a way to start off my thanksgiving break!!!)

DO NOT SHUT...

Music is such a huge part of my life. I believe that for whatever event/emotion/trial/joy in life, there is a song that can be matched with it. Somehow songs can express things mere words cannot. I'm listening to a song right now called "Rain Down". There is a part where it says, "My heart is dry, but still I'm singing...." That's exactly how I feel right now. I must admit, the reason my heart feels dry is entirely my fault. For some reason, I have let myself believe that I can make it just fine without surrendering things I'm dealing with to God. Ever since moving down here, I've felt distant from the Lord, which is to be expected, but I haven't gone after God any harder. Tonight two great friends came to my apartment for a time of prayer and worship. I actually started to believe that I didn't need fellowship anymore, isn't that sad. Being in a new environment, with new people and new situations, I expected to draw closer to God. I haven't though; my heart is dry. That song has put a new spin on things... I truly do want to KEEP SINGING even when I can't feel God or understand why things are the way they are in my life.
The song ends by saying, "DO NOT SHUT the Heavens, but open up our hearts...." That's my desire tonight. I won't always get it right, but I am KNOW that God will keep loving me, and I know the Heavens will never be shut....


:-) "Where the freedom of the Lord is, there is freedom..." -2 corinthians 3:17

overwhelmed-- but with a purpose

Hi! It's the end of week, well, THREE of graduate school... it feels like a lot longer. Meg, my sister, is here for the week, and it's been so fun to have both my sister and a roommate in the apartment. Oh, how I miss the days where we would drive to high school together, spend our friday nights together at football games (yes, we were in the band) and have hours and hours of fun together. Now, all we get is small amounts of time, that never quite seem to be enough. It's a blessing to have here out here though, even for only a short time... I have thoroughly enjoyed showing off my baby sister to my new grad school friends!

This week was tough. It had lots of great things happen, and it did go quickly in one sense, but there are certain times each and every day where I question what I'm doing here. Every one of my classmates is wise and knowledgeable; I feel like they can recall SO MUCH information that they've learned in undergrad or at job experiences. I have such a hard time remembering THIS information, let alone information from a class three years ago. Today was encouraging though. We had a guest speaker come and talk with us about physical disabilities and how it will relate to our careers. She was a woman who had a spinal cord injury during high school and is now wheel chair bound. She was greatly involved with physical therapy after her accident, and was talking about the profound impact that physical therapists had on her life. I felt the emotion well up inside of me. THAT IS WHY I WANT TO BE A PHYSICAL THERAPIST. I know that everyone at the interview says, "i want to be a physical therapist because of the people..." but it's genuinely true. What better is there to do in life than to get involved in people's lives and bring them hope in often times hopeless situations. I felt God encourage my heart through the woman in class today. I may not be the smartest girl in the DUKE DPT program, but I have a God who will equip me with all the wisdom and ability that I need to fit into His plan for me. Someone once said that as Christians we often ask, "What is God's will for my life..." when we should be asking our Heavenly Father, "God, how do I fit into YOUR plan for the world..." See the difference? It's all in perspective. It's only week three... the light isn't even VISIBLE at the end of the tunnel, but I know I just have to keep asking God how I fit into His plan... how I can most bring Him glory (and trust that He'll DO IT through me!)

I'm off... a little Indian restaurant is calling my name! Ciao!

Holy~Holy~Holy

What a week! I've been meaning to write on my blog for a few days now. Each night I have walked into my apartment thinking, I need to write today... and of course I never make time to do it. I've been studying all weekend, and I figure it's okay to take a minute and process life. Americans are always so busy, we don't take time to stop and think. So here goes....
This week was hard, simply put. Earlier in the week I likened my life since coming to Durham to a "honeymoon stage" of anything new... the excitement of a new place has started to slow down, and the reality of my situation of being in grad school is becoming more and more real. It's funny, because we only had three days of class this week, but it felt so long. I think that in the last six days I have felt every emotion known to man kind. Someone told me once that it's okay to "feel" things because God made us all different and gave us all the ability to feel things in a personal way. That's a great thought, but it doesn't always lead to good things. I had an interesting experience this week with seeing a different side of people that I haven't seen in a long time. I'm pausing right here, trying to think of how to even explain what I experienced. All I can say is that certain things in my life reinforce that nothing apart from God makes sense to me. Although my journey with God isn't always straight and steady, I know that I would be nothing without Him and my life would not make any sense. I saw a small, minute, insignificant glimpse of how God must feel when He looks down on His beloved people, seeing how far we measure up, on our own, to His desire for us. I saw how much God has saved me from and how much I need to thank Him for revealing to me the truth of who HE is and who I AM in Him.
After the "darker"period of this week, I can see SO MANY ways that the Lord has encouraged my heart this week. I went to a baseball game with some extraordinary friends and enjoyed my time getting to know them better! Nothing is sweeter than conversations with new friends! I am still speechless at the Lord's provision of fellow believers in my new setting. Ha, and I was worried that God wouldn't know what I need! How quickly I doubt the Lord's faithfulness. He always knows what I need, and when I need it!
Have you ever had a dream, felt God directing you towards it, and in the midst of it felt like you couldn't measure up? Well, that's where I was this week. Whether it was my own lack of confidence, or Satan trying to take my eyes off the Lord, I was fearful this week that I didn't have what it took to make it here. This might sound ridiculous, being only the second week of class, but numerous times whether studying or in class and labs, I felt so inadequate to be here. Inadequacy is not a new thing for me to struggle with, but I began to fear that I had misinterpreted God's plan for this season of life... and that's a scary thing. Things have gotten better, through amazing study groups, and encouragement in other forms, but I suppose I just need to keep telling myself that God put this desire in my heart and He will give me the ability to make it if I remain in Him. Why am I here... to learn the skills to make me a christian who just happens to be a physical therapist (that's what Mark Brown used to say at our Campus Crusade meetings...)
The new church I went to today rocked my socks off... they have such an amazing passion for God and His word that was shown in new and exciting ways. We sang a song called REVELATION SONG and the chorus goes,

"Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing
Praise to the King of Kings
You are my everything
And I will adore You"

Aren't these words just incredible! It's neat to think that I join with creation and all mankind to sing praises to the Lord!! It was eye opening to experience the service at this church today... I enjoy seeing God in a new light!
That's all I have for now.. God is faithful... in good times and bad! This week should hold some great things (especially my SISTER coming to Durham to visit me!)

Until next time...

New faces, new places

It has been a few weeks since I last took time to write my thoughts. Quite a bit has changed. My location is different from the two previous entries. I am writing from my new apartment in Durham, North Carolina. Being outside of OHIO for the first time, it's exciting to have had to learn a new part of the country (although not extremely far from what I know) The biggest difference between home and Durham is the amount of shopping areas. At church last week the pastor said that Durham, or north carolina in general, is the area of the country with the most credit card debt... i can believe that. You don't have to drive very far to find ANY kind of store that you need. There are more SUPER TARGETs near me than I can count on one hand. But things are great down here. My mom asked me last night if I felt like Duke was the right place for me. It is funny to think back to where I was a year ago, completely without a clue about where God would lead me. I can still remember a friend saying how HARD it was to get into Duke, and after that I almost wrote it off of my list, thinking there would be no way I could get in. Boy, am I glad to be here though. The fifty-one new friends that I have made are extremely incredible. It is hard to believe I have only known them for a little more than three weeks. There are so many different personalities, lifestyles, and interests, but we all mesh together really well.

Classes started last week and that was quite a challenge. The information is great though; for the first time in a long time I can see true significance in the material that I'm learning. Don't get me wrong, I am sure there is a place for knowledge on Organic Chemistry and Physics, but the material that we're learning is PRACTICAL for physical therapists, and that is really cool! My professors are amazing. They have such passion for their jobs and I truly feel like they have an investment in each of us. That is VERY cool!

Church hunting has been a lot of fun. North Carolina has a plethora of phenomenal churches. One I went to last week was HUGE and inside of a high school. The choir was close to a gospel choir and it blew me away! This past Sunday some new friends and I went to a church called Chapel Hill Bible Church. It was so refreshing, because it reminded me a lot of my church back home. I found a piece of paper inside my Bible while at that church-- it was a prayer I had written back in Oxford towards the end of last year, praying for the new church I'd find down here. It was cool to see that God cares about everything I ask Him in prayer.

I've noticed that with the crazy schedule I've been on down here, it's easier to go through a day without even saying "Hello" to God. It's bothersome and something I am going to have to be aware of daily. I just reread the entry I had written about Mexico. It's sad how quickly the passions God gives us can be swept away by the busyness of this life. I am trying to figure out how to bring God into my school work and my studies down here, and I know it's going to be more of a challenge than it was at Miami. I miss having Crusade-- the worship team, my amazing Bible study, discipleship times. It is great though, that now I have the chance to trust in the Lord with all my heart... without the "stuff" that can sometimes consume our faith standing in the way. All I know is that I need to hold onto the Lord, trusting in His faithfulness to guide me and keep me close to Him!

God is good, all the time! I pray that YOU know this today!

And the joy keeps coming...

Don't worry, today's thought isn't as long as the first one. Today was a quality day. I worked at the YMCA and at Curves, which made for a long morning, but I don't mind. At CURVES I had my surprise of the day. A member came in and asked if my name was Katie. She said that she was my kindergarten teacher, and asked if I remembered her. I didn't remember her by looking at her, but come on, who forgets their kindergarten teacher. Mine was Mrs. Assion. It was such a joy that she remembered me. She worked for forty years as a teacher, I found out, and it was crazy that she had remembered me. Haha, I had asked her if I looked the same as I did at age 5, and was that how she remembered me. She said I looked the same, just a little mature-er... which is good, i guess! It's always a blessing when people remember you and bring it up, especially someone from long in the past.

So that was joy #1. I had a great time during the car ride with one of my favorite high school sophomores. She and I went to our churches Youth group and we got to talk the whole way there and back. Her family is one of my favorites and I was so encouraged to hear her heart about church, going to high school, and being the oldest of four children. She has such a good head on her shoulders and I love spending time with her!

And joy #3... talking with the lovely Kristin Chantel! I am ALWAYS encouraged by the heart of this girl. We talked for awhile about what God has done, is doing and will continue to do. She always helps me evaluate my life by the good example she sets! What a JOY it is to catch up with old friends!

It's getting scary to look at the calendar and see that my days at home are numbered before heading out into the scary world of Durham, NC. I'm not excited yet, but hopefully the anticipation will start to build and I'll be ready to move. Who knows... only time will tell. I just need to keep giving it up to HIM...

And we're at the beginning...

All great things have a moment in time where they begin, right? Sometimes they are easy to see and pinpoint; other times they are hidden beneath the to-do list that we create for our lives. I have often struggled with forgetting specific beginnings of things in my life. Now is a time where I can say, this is the beginning of a new Katie. I got home on Sunday night from a week long trip to Tijuana, Mexico. The trip itself was one of the greatest displays of GOd's faithfulness that I have ever had the privelege of experiencing. I had emailed my youth pastor at the start of the summer to see if any spots were open. Well, there were no open spots. I was thoroughly disappointed, but thought nothing more about it, since spots on these kinds of trips rarely open up. In mid-June, my pastor had sent an email saying that there was a possibility of a spot opening up. Without getting too excited, I began going through all the possibilities in my head. I had already asked of a week of work, and so the idea of asking off again seemed too difficult. WHen I got the final OK that indeed a spot was open and I could take it, my head was spinning. How on Earth was I blessed with this opportunity. THe entire trip was paid for through the support raising of the church, all I had to do was show up. I was nervous before I left that somehow I would miss the purpose for me going on this trip. A wise friend encouraged me, saying that God uses the weak people to further His Kingdom. Another wise person in my life said that God uses us in times when we are not even aware. We just needed to be faithful. So that was my prayer, that God would be glorified through me on this trip, whether I knew it or not!

As you may have expected, this trip was an incredible experience. Having gone once before, I was anxious to see how the experiences would match up. Going on a mission trip cross-culturally allows God to speak in ways that we would most likely miss if we were in the comforts of our own culture. The speakers during the week had a HUGE focus on missions and how we fit into God's desire for all people to know Him. The men who spoke to us each morning had an INCREDIBLE heart for people all around the world. Growing up in the church, African and Chinese and Indian missionaries are always talked about in SUnday school and in services. I saw these people in a whole new light on this trip. As I allowed myself to think about ME being out in the mission field some day, it was interesting HOW QUICKLY the excuses came up. And I mean, these excuses were lame. Satan would do anything to keep the Gospel from being spread. Some of my "hesitations" to going into the mission field abroad were things like, " I can't, what if there's no sunscreen and I get extremly burned" or " I don't like to go barefoot, so how could I live in a place with no shoes and dirty, jungle land?" I was thankful that God gave me the wisdom to see that those sorts of fears and hestitations are within His ability to account for. That was a cool revelation for me, to trust that God would take care of those things if I did go.

Another lesson that the speakers talked about numerous times was the idea of making our own plans. How many people in American, from the time we're little, play our the plan of having the great American life, LIVING the American dream? From toy cars to Barbie dolls, we are bombarded with the idea that true success and happiness comes from having stuff and making a life easy for ourselves as we age. A missionary who has lived in Papau New Guinea said it this way, "Are we working for a great retirement on Earth, or an Eternal Retirement with God?" That really hit me... especially being closer to the "real world" than I have ever been. What is my greatest desire? To serve the Lord and share His freedom and saving grace with people who haven't heard it! Could God use me in a tribal setting? Could He use me in a setting outside of the continental United States? I'm not sure. I have so many things floating through my head now, it's hard to keep it straight. All I know is that GOd uses everything in life to bring us closer to Him, and closer to ways that we can bring Him the most glory.

I don't know what's in store for me, but I know that I want to give up my plans, give up my future, and have the faith to trust the Lord to put me where He wants me. I know it may sound foolish to some, and even writing it now it seems quite impossible, to give up dreams that I thought were from God. All I know is that I want to be in God's story, not my own.

To GOD be the glory, great things He has done!